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Welcome to Channel UCS News
Right here at the High Command News Desk with
ARCHIMEDES AND
BLACKHAWK<Audience cheers as Archimedes and Blackhawk turn a corner onto the stage and walk to the desk. They wave to their camera men and people who are like filming them
>
<Flowers are thrown at Archimedes but Apples are thrown at Blackhawk's Head>
<They both take a seat side by side at the news desk>
Archimedes: Hello and welcome to the Channel UCS News Desk. Im Archimedes, your anchorman tonight.
Blackhawk: that's right and im his co-anchor. ANd i shall be presenting all your weather details amongst other news reports.
Archimedes: Thank you, blackhawk. Straight to Breaking News: Last night there was a disturbance in the UCoS dormitories that woke up most of the junior officers. Although it is still unknown to what caused the strange noises emitting from Blackhawk's room, they appeared to sound like the moans to be middle-aged men.
Blackhawk: <cough> nothing happened. In other news, the atreides have officially declared war on the bob due to a border dispute at the dinner table. Neither could decide where to sit and therefore a fight erupted.
Archimedes: after the rumble, UCoS representatives at the dinner table became agitated and began to flick spoonfulls of butter all over the walls. This is seen as a diplomatic disaster in the eyes of the infamous Assassins clan.
Blackhawk: The what clan?
Archimedes: nevermind. Continue Blackhawk...
Blackhawk: Thankyou co anchor. Relief efforts at New London continue after the so called MOX attack that was organised by the OSG. The Don of this terrorist network has only one thing to say when we interviewed him..
Phoenix Quote:
I like Cardi....
End Quote
Archimedes: i know, its frightening. But in situation such as these, we must all remain calm. Cardimine is only a children's story, it does not exist. The pipe you see in my coanchor's hand is full of cardimoooone, which is completely legal.
Blackhawk: <cough> yes of course ... legal. right. Now to the Weather.
<picture of the weather details appears behind them>
Archimedes: as you can see there will be heavy rain in the New Tokyo area which will cause the Atreides training crew to sweep more sluggish dirt off their docking platforms. However, the winds in the UCoS area have caused several lightpoles to smash into high command rooms in the central building in dresden and therefore Meady's stash of Mead is now violently dripping out of space.
Blackhawk: thats right Archimedes, gallons of Mead every second. The SHA have sent their best janitor crews to clean it right up. However the Outlaws have began campaigning for PEACE. They want PEACE. Total absolute Peace. Listen to this quote by Cuch himself..
Quote Plume:
I want Peace...
End Quote:
Archimedes: Yes, very frightening. And thats all we ahve for you tonight people of UCoS. Thank for tuning into our network and we hope you ahve a very good night.
Blackhawk: Yes we hope. Go Fuck yourself UCoS.
<OMFG, WHO CHANGED THE TEXT ON THE READING SCREEN!!>
the end